Monday Night RaGE 7

One week after RaGE 6 had produced two RWL World Championship changes, the biggest crowd in the promotion’s history and a car battery that couldn’t survive an entire wrestling match, RWL was back at Turning Medieval for another episode of Monday Night RaGE.

It was 5th November 2007, the familiar blue tarp was laid out between the two boulders, and the weather was absolutely miserable.

Again.

Monday Night RaGE 7 would become the final surviving RWL recording of 2007, although there was nothing particularly special about the occasion at the time. It was simply another afternoon of wrestling, with the usual collection of familiar faces, developing rivalries and questionable decisions.

Unfortunately, we haven’t managed to recover the complete show.

The surviving recordings were incorrectly labelled as footage from RaGE 4, and they begin with Hyogo Kantai already partway through a promo. We know at least one match and a segment are missing, although exactly how much else was filmed remains a mystery.

Valo Wants His Championship Back

One of the missing matches featured Valo taking on Tom Omega, who’d become a fairly regular presence since making his RWL debut at RaGE 4.

Omega had also become the unfortunate victim of Adam Watson’s geographical knowledge at Entertainmania II, where he’d been introduced as “Tom Obscene” from “Dubai, Ireland”.

Fortunately, everybody appeared to have worked out his actual name by this point.

Although the footage is missing, we know Valo defeated Omega following the CorZonE.

Valo also cut a promo directed towards “Cyanide” Danny Cooper, promising to regain the RWL World Championship.

And given what had happened the previous week, he had plenty to complain about.

At RaGE 6, Valo had finally won his first RWL World Championship, defeating Cyanide after a brutal encounter at Turning Medieval.

Unfortunately, Cyanide immediately invoked his own contractual rematch clause, hit Crystal Clear and took the championship straight back.

Valo’s first reign had barely lasted long enough for him to enjoy it.

Now he wanted another opportunity, continuing the rivalry that had dominated RWL throughout much of the second half of 2007.

We don’t know exactly where Valo’s match or promo appeared in the original running order, but both are established parts of the show, even if the recordings themselves have disappeared.

A World Championship Match in the Rain

The surviving footage begins with Hyogo Kantai already standing in the wrestling area, midway through a promo.

Some of Hyogo’s more tasteless material has been removed from the modern edit, which is probably for the best. The character had never been particularly concerned with good taste, and some of the things we found funny in 2007 are considerably less amusing today.

His opponent was the reigning RWL World Champion, “Cyanide” Danny Cooper, who arrived carrying the championship.

And it was raining.

What began as a relatively manageable shower gradually developed into a downpour, leaving both wrestlers soaked and the blue tarpaulin increasingly slippery.

Despite the conditions, the match began with some surprisingly traditional wrestling. Hyogo initially overpowered Cyanide in a test of strength before the two exchanged wristlocks, headlocks and counters.

Hyogo eventually took control with an Arm Snap over his shoulder, followed by the Emo Killer, the Trapper Keeper-style Piledriver that had become a familiar part of Valo’s various wrestling characters.

As the rain worsened, the two began exchanging heavier offence, with Cyanide fighting back through a series of kicks and a big DDT.

It also became apparent that the match wasn’t operating under normal pinfall rules.

Instead, Ref James was counting wrestlers down for ten, suggesting a Last Man Standing stipulation.

Things became particularly unpleasant when the action moved onto the gravel surrounding the tarp.

Cyanide attempted an enormous flipping dive towards Hyogo, only for Hyogo to move out of the way.

The champion landed hard on the gravel.

Not exactly a surface designed for catching somebody throwing themselves through the air.

Hyogo followed up with another Emo Killer on the gravel, leaving Cyanide down as Ref James began counting.

Cyanide managed to get back to his feet at eight, keeping the match alive.

Back on the tarp, the champion regained control and connected with a Spinning Wheel Kick, followed by a Shining Wizard that left Hyogo unable to answer the ten-count.

Cyanide retained the RWL World Championship.

It was a decent, competitive encounter, especially considering how badly the weather had deteriorated. Both men worked hard, and the use of the gravel and surrounding area added some intensity to a match that could easily have been ruined by the conditions.

But the champion wasn’t finished.

Following the match, Cyanide attacked Hyogo again, delivering a Curb Stomp onto the RWL World Championship belt.

The attack was intended as a message to Valo, who’d made it clear that he wanted another shot at the championship.

After months of personal animosity, Cyanide was more than happy to return some of the punishment he’d received throughout their rivalry.

A Hippo, a Cyclops and the Cockney Nutjob

With the World Championship business out of the way, the next match brought us back to the less serious side of RWL.

Teh Gr8 Phuka-U was scheduled to face Adam “The Axe” Watson, although Phuka-U initially struggled with the simple task of making his entrance.

He attempted to penguin-slide down the entranceway.

It didn’t work.

Rather than dwell on his failure, Phuka-U began complaining about the amount of water in the wrestling area, declaring that he felt like a hippo.

This naturally led to a hippo chant.

Because apparently that’s what happens when you give somebody a microphone in RWL.

Eventually, Phuka-U remembered he had an opponent to address and turned his attention towards Adam Watson.

His promo centred around the infamous superglue incident that had taken place at an RWL house party shortly before Halloween Hell.

During the party, Kazuki Lyger had drunkenly attempted to superglue Watson’s hair to his hands while Watson was asleep. Watson subsequently woke up, rubbed his eyes and accidentally transferred the glue onto his eyelids.

The resulting injury required hospital treatment and left Watson walking around with one eye glued shut for several weeks.

It had been an incredibly stupid prank with genuinely serious consequences, although Phuka-U seemed more interested in taking the piss out of Watson.

He mocked him for walking around college looking like a cyclops, complete with an impression of Watson discovering what had happened to his eye.

Phuka-U then called Watson out, threatening to kick his arse and make him pay for the superglue involved in the incident.

Quite why Watson was being held responsible for the glue that somebody else had put on him wasn’t explained.

But this was Teh Gr8 Phuka-U. Logic was rarely invited to participate.

Watson arrived to boos and immediately went on the offensive, attacking Phuka-U with kicks and clubs to the back before connecting with a DDT.

Phuka-U attempted a Spinaroonie during the match, somehow managing to send his own mask flying off in the process.

Things were going well, then.

At this point, Teh Gr8 Schitzu appeared at ringside.

Well, allegedly.

Schitzu was wearing an outfit that looked suspiciously like Hyogo Kantai’s, complete with a hood pulled over his head.

The reason was simple.

Valo had forgotten to bring the correct costume.

So Schitzu had apparently been forced to improvise.

Quite why he’d come down to interfere in the match was another matter entirely. He simply appeared, confronted Watson and grabbed him by the testicles.

Schitzu proudly announced this innovative manoeuvre as the Cockney Nutjob, before passing Watson’s unfortunate predicament over to Phuka-U.

Phuka-U followed up with a Scissors Kick.

Watson completely ignored it.

He then delivered his trademark Axe Handle Smash and secured the pinfall victory.

A fairly straightforward finish to a match that had involved a failed penguin slide, a hippo chant, a missing mask, somebody else’s wrestling costume and a manoeuvre that probably shouldn’t have had a name.

Very much business as usual.

Three Minutes, Two Omen Members

The final surviving match of RaGE 7 featured Adam Watson against Spyke.

Both men were members of The Omen, alongside Overkill and faction leader Valo, something the commentary explicitly acknowledged.

There was no apparent faction split or major disagreement behind the encounter.

There was, however, a rather unusual time limit.

Three minutes.

Not because either wrestler had demanded a special challenge, but because the camera was running out of recording time.

Rather than abandon the match entirely, the decision was made to give Watson and Spyke three minutes to work with.

Sometimes wrestling stipulations arise from months of carefully planned storytelling.

Sometimes they’re dictated by how much tape you’ve got left.

There was also a noticeable change in Spyke’s appearance.

He’d cut his hair.

With that established, the two got underway, exchanging wristlocks and counters before Spyke began taking control.

The wrestling was fairly straightforward, with Spyke landing a Clothesline, a Snapmare and several kicks to Watson’s back and head.

Meanwhile, the commentary team had apparently decided that the best accompaniment to the match was a rendition of “Skeletor vs Beastman” from CKY.

A perfectly normal way to spend an afternoon.

Spyke eventually connected with a Valo Boom Senton.

Or at least, something that was supposed to resemble one.

It wasn’t exactly the finest imitation of Valo’s move, and unfortunately for Spyke, it would become a rather permanent part of RWL’s history.

Because immediately afterwards, the camera cut out.

The three-minute limit had expired, bringing the match to a time-limit draw.

And that was it.

No dramatic ending, no post-match celebration, and no closing promo.

Just Spyke’s rather questionable Senton before the recording abruptly stopped.

The last surviving footage of RWL in 2007.

The End of the 2007 Archive

There’s something rather fitting about the way RaGE 7 ends.

Not because we’d planned it that way. Nobody knew this would be the last surviving recording of the year, and there was certainly no intention of treating it as a season finale.

We were simply filming another wrestling show, trying to squeeze in one last match before the camera ran out of space.

And then it did.

Looking back, 2007 had been a busy and eventful year for RWL. We’d begun developing more consistent storylines, established championships and factions, worked with wrestlers from other promotions and started gaining experience beyond our own backyard shows.

There had been some genuinely memorable matches, a few surprisingly important moments, and more than enough nonsense to fill an entire website.

We’d also made our fair share of mistakes.

Some were relatively harmless, like forgetting costumes or announcing three-minute matches because the camera couldn’t cope.

Others were more serious, involving dangerous spots, poor decisions and moments that are considerably harder to look back on fondly.

But it was all part of learning what we were doing.

RaGE 7 itself wasn’t a particularly remarkable show. The World Championship match was enjoyable despite the weather, the comedy was as ridiculous as ever, and the final encounter was mostly memorable for its technical limitations.

There may have been more to it than that, but until the missing footage resurfaces, we can only document what we know.

What makes the surviving recording special is simply where it falls in RWL’s history.

After a year of experimenting, learning, making friends, falling out, creating characters and occasionally producing something resembling professional wrestling, our final surviving moments of 2007 weren’t particularly glamorous.

It was just Watson and Spyke having a match.

Spyke tried a Valo Boom Senton.

The camera stopped recording.

And somewhere along the line, that became the end of the 2007 archive.

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After everything RWL managed to squeeze into 2007, the surviving footage ends with Spyke’s questionable attempt at a Valo Boom Senton. Not exactly a grand finale, but then again, we never were particularly good at planning those.