Leaping Spoonkick From Hell 2

A Cold Start at Witton Park

RWL’s first surviving show of 2008 took us somewhere new. On 6th January, Leaping Spoonkick From Hell 2 was filmed beside the athletics running track at Witton Park in Blackburn, with the familiar blue tarp laid out on the ground and a nearby hill offering an invitingly terrible collection of possibilities.

There was also a long-jump sandpit. That would turn out to be quite important.

The less welcome addition was the weather. January in Blackburn wasn’t an ideal time to spend an afternoon wrestling outdoors, and nobody was particularly enthusiastic about the cold. But we’d gone through the trouble of getting everybody together, so a wrestling show was what we were going to have.

After the surviving 2007 footage ended with Monday Night RaGE 7, there was plenty to pick up. Cyanide Danny Cooper was still RWL World Champion, The Omen remained together, and the proposed Overdose 2 interfed had already given us several matches to promote. For the time being, at least, there was a plan.

Number One Japanese… GM?!

The intended opening began with Valo talking about Overdose 2, where he was scheduled to face Cyanide and Scott Smith in a Triple Threat Hardcore Ladder Match for the RWL World Championship.

Jayyy soon interrupted, wondering why he wasn’t involved. After all, he was undefeated, undisputed and, according to himself, “unfuckingforgettable”. He’d beaten Cyanide twice the previous year, defeated Valo more times than he cared to remember, and beaten Smith at SWF Coldfest in Aylesbury. Yet Valo was getting the title opportunity while Jayyy had been booked against Ace Pain, the wrestler who would later become known as Will Ospreay.

Valo insisted Cyanide’s win over him had been a fluke and complained that he should have faced Smith at Coldfest in the first place. Neither man was especially interested in hearing the other out, and the argument became a brawl.

Overkill joined Valo, Cyanide came to Jayyy’s aid, and Spyke arrived to support his Omen teammates. Adam Watson then appeared to remind Spyke that they were supposed to be on the same side, although Watson’s own loyalty was questionable: after Valo delivered the Chemical Imbalance to Jayyy, Watson took the opportunity to hit his faction leader. Mini Lyger joined in as well, leaving most of the roster fighting around the tarp.

Enter Kazuki Lyger, who attempted to restore order by telling everybody to stop fighting “like a bunch of inbreds”.

Kazuki then announced they were entering their ring, a claim Cyanide found particularly amusing. The ring in question was a sheet of blue plastic beside a running track, but Kazuki proudly insisted it was beautiful.

The reason for all this confidence soon became clear: Kazuki Lyger was the new General Manager of RWL.

The roster greeted the news with laughter, arguments and a few suggestions that Kazuki should get fucked. Kazuki, undeterred, reminded everybody that they controlled their contracts and began making matches.

Among those announced were Valo against Watson, an Omen-versus-Omen encounter in which Kazuki threatened to deal with Valo personally if he failed to beat his teammate. Mini Lyger would face Teh Gr8 Phuka-U, Spyke would face Teh Gr8 Schitzu, and Overkill would challenge Cyanide for the RWL World Championship.

Kazuki also booked themselves against the undefeated Jayyy, with the winner earning the role of special enforcer in the main event. The new boss apparently had very little interest in easing into the job.

There’s a good bit of production history behind the scene, too. The opening promo was filmed after Valo and Watson’s match, then intended to be placed at the start of the finished show. We’d recorded the match first and gone back to film what was supposed to have happened before it. A pre-tape in reverse, more or less.

A Jam Roly-Poly Nobody Wanted

When Valo and Adam Watson made their entrances, both were still announced as members of The Omen. Those introductions are missing from the longer match recording but survive in the original music video, confirming that the faction hadn’t officially split despite the fighting in the opening segment.

The match began with Valo calling Watson a “fucker” and immediately trying to take his head off with a Clothesline. There was some fairly ordinary wrestling to begin with, until Valo called for the Chemical Imbalance, his pull-through driver.

That move would later acquire the considerably less intimidating name The Jam Roly-Poly, after Jayyy misheard what Valo shouted while setting it up. Somehow, the name stuck.

Unfortunately, this particular attempt is remembered for something much worse than its name.

As Watson took the move, his feet became caught on Valo, causing him to land squarely on his head and neck. It’s a horrible bump to watch. Valo remembers having to lift Watson’s shoulder to help him kick out of the attempted pin, then assist him back to his feet.

The match should have been stopped while Watson was checked. Instead, we carried on, as we sometimes did during the backyard years when finishing the match took precedence over thinking properly about the risks.

The action eventually moved towards the hill, where Watson reversed a Suplex into a Half-and-Half Kobashi Plex, sending Valo into a huge backwards-flipping bump down the slope. Valo remembers taking it partly because he wanted to make up for dropping Watson on his head earlier.

Quite why the chosen apology involved an enormous Suplex down a hill is something best left to the judgement of 2008-era RWL.

Back at the tarp, Watson caught Valo with a Chokeslam to win the match. It was a strong result for someone who had only joined The Omen towards the end of 2007, even if the circumstances made the victory difficult to celebrate without reservations.

An Office With a Sand-Based Filing System

With the wrestling underway, it was time to visit the new General Manager’s office.

Kazuki had made use of the long-jump sandpit, drawing a desk in the sand and apparently deciding that walls, furniture and doors were optional extras. Kazuki was enormously proud of the arrangement, even asking visitors whether they liked the desk.

Mini Lyger arrived, knocked on an imaginary door and waited to be invited inside. The conversation quickly became an argument about Kazuki’s sudden rise to power. Mini accused the new GM of having changed, abusing their authority and acting like “a fucking knobhead”.

Kazuki was outraged, and immediately demonstrated their commitment to fair management by booking Mini against their personal bodyguard, KillSwitch, at Overdose 2.

There was also a callback to Kazuki’s earlier AIDS joke, one of those pieces of period humour that reads rather differently when revisiting the footage today.

Next through the imaginary office door was Adam Watson, who’d come to point out that he’d beaten Valo. Kazuki’s first question was whether Watson had taken a neck bump, a rather uncomfortable reference to the accident we’d just filmed.

Watson wanted a match at Overdose 2, so Kazuki consulted their contracts, which consisted of picking up handfuls of sand. After examining this impeccable paperwork, Kazuki booked Watson against Project SEX.

Watson also teased that he’d be bringing a friend, prompting Kazuki to demand to know whether this mystery person was under contract. The discussion ended with an irritated General Manager ordering Watson out and throwing sand in his direction.

If the appointment was meant to bring a little professionalism to RWL, the paperwork hadn’t quite caught up.

Elsewhere, Valo was still annoyed about losing to his own teammate. In a promo alongside Overkill, he described the defeat as “fucking depressing” before promising that Cyanide and Scott Smith were his at Overdose 2. First, though, he wanted Overkill to take care of Cyanide in the afternoon’s World Championship match.

Valo’s threats became increasingly elaborate. Overkill was going to snap Cyanide in half, turn him into a twig, chew his head off and generally make a complete mess of him. Overkill contributed the occasional growl, while Valo warned that Cyanide had entered the CorZonE and was about to get Overkilled.

Overkill stared at the camera and shouted “PEACE!”.

Not quite the terrifying conclusion his leader had been building towards.

Masks, Mountains and a Very Short Reunion

Back on the tarp, Teh Gr8 Phuka-U appeared in Cyanide’s clothes, claiming he’d raided the champion’s locker room. Given that Cyanide was the person behind Phuka-U’s mask, the burglary probably hadn’t required much effort.

His opponent was Mini Lyger, introduced as the Number Two Japanese Superstar. The two had a lively little match, with one Uppercut knocking Phuka-U’s mask straight off before the action drifted towards the hill.

Phuka-U’s decision to take the fight uphill backfired when Mini threw him down the slope and followed with three consecutive Tadpole Splashes, eventually pinning him right there on the hillside. The tarp remained available, but nobody seemed to feel particularly obliged to use it.

The next return was The Original Gr8 Schitzu, complete with his older, more colourful appearance and an enthusiastic attempt to get the crowd chanting “WAY-HO!”.

The crowd played along. Spyke did not.

Before Schitzu could finish his second chant, Spyke punched him straight in the face. Schitzu briefly rallied with a low blow and the Schitzu Clash, but Spyke immediately got back up, hit a Flatliner and brought the festivities to an abrupt end.

Schitzu’s comeback had lasted just long enough for everyone to remember why Spyke was considered the no-nonsense member of The Omen.

Cigarettes, Mince Pies and the Missing Match

The next contest would decide who got to enforce the rules in the main event. Kazuki Lyger made their entrance from the sandpit office in a parody of Goldberg’s famous walk to the ring, then offered Jayyy a deal: lie down for the pin and Kazuki wouldn’t fire him.

Jayyy appeared to agree, only to catch the GM in a Small Package as soon as the cover was attempted.

What followed was a lengthy, ambitious match with plenty of counters and high-flying attempts, although things didn’t always come together. At one point, Kazuki attempted a German Suplex down the hill, only for Jayyy to land on his feet accidentally. They decided to do it again. Jayyy later launched himself down the slope with a Moonsault, while Kazuki used the Too Soon Crossface, another ill-judged reference to the Chris Benoit tragedy from the previous year.

Jayyy eventually won with a Code Red, maintaining his undefeated record and securing his place as special enforcer for the World Championship match.

But the match was more memorable behind the scenes for how little either man seemed to be enjoying it. It was bitterly cold, Jayyy’s enthusiasm had clearly deserted him, and he repeatedly blamed his performance on “cigarettes and mince pies” over Christmas.

Valo wasn’t happy with the finished match either. When he put together the original 2008 music video, he chose to leave Jayyy vs Kazuki Lyger out entirely. The opening promo introducing Kazuki as General Manager and the later Valo/Overkill promo were also omitted, although their reasons for being cut weren’t necessarily the same.

It meant the original release offered a rather different account of the afternoon. The longer recordings preserved the new GM’s appointment, Jayyy earning his enforcer role and important pieces of the buildup that the music video simply didn’t show.

At the time, we were editing these shows into music videos, not archiving complete television episodes for people to examine almost twenty years later. If we weren’t happy with something, there was a good chance we just wouldn’t use it.

A World Championship Match, and an Old Hand Signal

The main event brought us back to the trouble Valo had been promising all afternoon: Cyanide Danny Cooper defending the RWL World Championship against Overkill, with Jayyy now acting as special enforcer.

Valo accompanied Overkill to ringside but was promptly sent to the back by Jayyy, who clearly intended to use his newly earned authority. Cyanide tried to get some enthusiasm out of the crowd on an exceptionally cold afternoon, while Overkill set about making good on his leader’s threats.

The pair traded control before taking the fight towards the hill. Overkill Suplexed Cyanide down the slope, then charged at him by the metal barrier, only for Cyanide to move and send Overkill spilling into the athletics track area. Cyanide’s own attempt at a springboard frontflip fared no better when Overkill avoided it, leaving the champion to crash onto the ground.

Back on the tarp, Overkill looked to have an opportunity to finish things, but his attempt at The Overkill caught Jayyy instead. With the special enforcer down, there was nobody available to count the pin.

That’s when Valo returned.

After spending the show promising that Overkill would destroy Cyanide, the Omen leader helped his teammate to his feet.

Then clotheslined him straight back down.

Cyanide took advantage, landed a Cutter and got the three-count to retain the RWL World Championship. But rather than celebrate with the champion, Valo had a different idea.

He helped Cyanide to his feet and flashed the old [lfp] hand symbol, a callback to their days together in the faction during 2006. After the deeply personal rivalry they’d been through the previous year, the gesture was unexpected. Valo offered a handshake, and Cyanide looked understandably confused.

Kazuki Lyger appeared to remind everyone about the planned Triple Threat Ladder Match at Overdose 2. Cyanide considered Valo’s offer, then delivered his answer in the form of Crystal Clear.

No handshake. No reunion.

Kazuki responded with a declaration that “corruption equals power, power equals glory”, and that glory was what everybody involved wanted. It was a suitably grand speech for somebody whose contracts were made of sand.

Overkill had recovered by this point, and he wasn’t about to forgive the man who’d cost him the World Championship. He planted Valo with an Impaler DDT, leaving his faction leader down and out as the show faded away.

Valo had spent the afternoon threatening Cyanide, lost to Watson, betrayed Overkill and tried to revive an old alliance. By the end, neither the champion nor his own teammate wanted anything to do with him.

What Survived of the Day

Leaping Spoonkick From Hell 2 was an uneven return for RWL. The cold hardly helped, Jayyy’s match with Kazuki never found the rhythm Valo had hoped for, and the accident involving Watson was a serious reminder of the risks we were taking without always giving them enough thought.

There was plenty of character and storyline material, though. Kazuki had appointed themselves General Manager, with an office that existed almost entirely in their imagination. The proposed Overdose 2 was shaping much of the booking, although that event would ultimately never happen. And The Omen’s apparently intact membership looked rather less stable by the time the final recording ended.

The surviving footage is also a useful reminder of how RWL shows were originally presented. The intended opening was filmed after the first match, and whole segments disappeared when Valo edited the music video. What was released in 2008 wasn’t quite the same thing as everything we’d recorded.

Fortunately, those longer clips survived. They let us look beyond the music video and see the entire afternoon, including the material we’d decided to leave out.

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A new location, a General Manager with a sandpit for an office, one frightening accident and a World Championship main event that left The Omen with more problems than it started with. RWL’s 2008 had begun.