Misery Business

Three weeks after Inhuman Creation Station, and one week after a field full of litter, RWL went back indoors.

Darwen Vale High School was becoming a familiar destination. This was the third show there in under a month, the gym mats were back, and the event had taken its name from the Paramore song.

By the end of the afternoon, RWL would have suspended one of its own wrestlers, taken another step into an increasingly personal storyline, introduced a brand new championship and somehow allowed a 28 stone man to challenge for it.

Just another Monday.

The Man Who Runs RWL

The show opened with Valo, still the reigning NAW Cruiserweight Champion, making his entrance to cheers.

He was supposed to be a babyface, although what followed made that classification increasingly difficult to justify.

Valo had some unfinished business with “Cyanide” Danny Cooper, who had interfered in his RWL World Championship match at Smack!YerBitchUp two weeks earlier.

And he wasn’t particularly interested in being diplomatic about it.

“First of all, what I want to say is., last week, last Monday, Cyanide Danny Cooper ran into my match and give me his finisher, The Crystal Clear. I could of been the new RWL Heavyweight Champion. But, that didn’t happen obviously, so, Cyanide, Lewis O’Brien, what I’m gonna say is that you are suspended immediately from this moment onwards, after you Crystal Cleared me and jumped me down at Turning Medieval for no reason (off camera). So Lewis, lets simply put it this way… you aren’t welcome at RWL anymore, so fuck off.”

A fairly comprehensive suspension, all things considered.

There were a few minor problems with the explanation.

For starters, Cyanide’s interference had happened two weeks earlier, not the previous Monday. The championship Valo had been challenging for was the RWL World Championship, not the Heavyweight Championship.

And the supposed attack at Turning Medieval?

That hadn’t actually happened on camera. It was an off-camera storyline development that had been reported on the original RWL.net.tc website.

Other than that, flawless.

The promo also revealed something that hadn’t previously been made particularly explicit on screen. By announcing that Cyanide was suspended and no longer welcome, Valo had effectively established himself as the man running RWL.

But he wasn’t finished.

After walking away from the camera, Valo stopped, turned around and delivered one final line.

“Oh, and one thing mate… I stole your girlfriend.”

And there it was.

The worked-shoot storyline that had begun at Smack!YerBitchUp was now leaning much more heavily into the real-life situation behind it.

Even the use of Lewis O’Brien, rather than Cyanide’s wrestling name, was deliberate.

The personal circumstances between Valo and Lewis had been difficult, but both had agreed to incorporate them into RWL’s storylines and see where things went.

This was the next step.

It also left Valo in a rather unusual position. He’d entered to cheers as a babyface, but had just delivered a promo that gave the audience plenty of reasons to dislike him.

The reaction was becoming increasingly divided.

And he still had a match to wrestle.

Overkill Shows What He’s Got

Valo’s opponent was Overkill, who was making his third RWL appearance in as many weeks.

His debut at Smack!YerBitchUp had been a rather messy triple threat, while his match against Hyogo Kantai at Condoms & Cigarette Packets had been a shorter, more carefully planned contest designed to give him a better showing.

Now it was time to take things a little further.

Behind the scenes, Overkill had been training with Valo at Turning Medieval, working on different aspects of his wrestling.

The improvement was becoming noticeable, and this match was designed to demonstrate it.

Rather than another chaotic multi-man contest or a short showcase, Overkill was given the opportunity to work a more substantial match against somebody with greater experience.

There was also a storyline reason for Valo not being entirely on top of his game.

The last time he’d wrestled at Darwen Vale High School, Cyanide had cost him an opportunity to become RWL World Champion. Combined with the personal situation surrounding the two, Valo was supposed to be distracted.

And after his opening promo, the audience wasn’t exactly united behind him either.

The reaction was roughly split down the middle.

Overkill benefited from the opportunity, with the match featuring a number of creative spots designed to show how much he’d progressed.

It was his first proper RWL match that wasn’t either a shambles or a squash, and another step forward for somebody who was quickly becoming a more capable performer.

Adam Watson was the referee, although he managed to get himself into trouble by counting a little too quickly for Valo’s liking.

Valo responded with a CorZonE, a finishing move named after CorZ.

A perfectly reasonable response to questionable officiating, obviously.

Watson Wants Spyke

Having just found himself on the receiving end of Valo’s finisher, Adam Watson had other business to attend to.

At Smack!YerBitchUp, Watson had faced Spyke and Overkill in the infamous triple-threat match that ended with all three men being counted out.

Yes, that finish was still terrible.

Watson wanted another crack at Spyke, and called him out before their match.

Spyke was happy to oblige.

What followed was a slightly sloppy affair, with Watson doing his best to keep things moving in the right direction.

That was never going to be the easiest task against Spyke.

There was, however, another important moment involving Watson’s Axe Handle Smash.

After the move had received its first properly big reaction at Smack!YerBitchUp, Watson attempted it again here, only for Spyke to dodge.

The audience chanted for the move anyway.

It was becoming a thing.

Then Overkill appeared.

He attacked Watson, and he and Spyke delivered a double suplex. After the match, Overkill remained at ringside to cheer Spyke on.

It was the first indication that the two were beginning to work together.

There was no team name yet, and the partnership was still in its earliest stages, but this was the beginning of something that would become much more familiar in RWL.

The Omen.

The Fitness Freak vs the Pedigree

Elsewhere on the show, Chris Goodwin had returned from his American excursion.

No questions asked.

Goodwin was back representing the Chris System, accompanied by “The Next Level” Ciaran Kennedy, and carrying the HGWA Championship.

He’d won the title in HGWA following its previous defence in RWL, and now brought it back to Darwen.

The audience weren’t particularly pleased to see either member of the Chris System, greeting them with heavy boos.

Goodwin’s opponent was Mike McKnight, and the match began in a way that was entirely appropriate for a man calling himself “The Fitness Freak With The Phenomenal Physique”.

With a press-up competition.

Goodwin bet that McKnight couldn’t match him.

McKnight accepted, got down into position, considered the situation and promptly admitted defeat.

Then he grabbed Goodwin and attempted a Pedigree.

Goodwin escaped, leaving both men back where they’d started.

The audience loved the whole exchange.

The rest of the contest continued the fitness theme, with Goodwin incorporating various exercises into his offence.

It was an entertaining way of making his character part of the wrestling rather than simply something he talked about before the bell.

Eventually, the action spilled onto the floor, where Kennedy became involved.

The Chris System might have been absent from the previous week’s show, but it was very much back in business.

Why Did You Do It?

Kennedy wasn’t finished causing problems.

Having accompanied Goodwin earlier in the afternoon, he now called out Valo.

Valo appeared and immediately began mocking Kennedy’s entrance spiel before announcing that he’d introduce Kennedy’s opponent himself.

Out came Jayyy.

But before the match could begin, Kennedy wanted answers.

Three weeks earlier, he’d arrived in RWL at Chris Goodwin’s request and defeated Valo cleanly at Inhuman Creation Station.

The following week, at Smack!YerBitchUp, Kennedy had come within seconds of capturing the RWL World Championship before Iain Russell appeared and slapped him, allowing Flaming Chaos to retain.

Kennedy believed Valo was responsible.

He pointed out that while everyone seemed to think Russell had acted independently, there was one question worth asking.

Who had invited Iain Russell to RWL in the first place?

Kennedy wanted to know why Valo had screwed him out of the championship.

Valo’s response was characteristically thoughtful.

“Because you, sir, are a bell end.”

Kennedy had a fair point in reply.

“I beat you, so if I’m a bellend, what does that make you?”

Hard to argue with that logic.

Kennedy went on to promise that he’d eventually take Valo’s NAW Cruiserweight Championship, before telling him to get the fuck out.

Valo refused, explaining that he’d remain at ringside to make sure Goodwin didn’t interfere.

Compared with the intensely personal promo earlier in the afternoon, this was much more conventional wrestling storytelling.

Two characters arguing, a championship threat, a bit of interference-related suspicion and some fairly childish insults.

Lovely stuff.

Valo had also chosen Jayyy as Kennedy’s opponent for a reason.

The two had occasionally teamed together in NAW as 2AT, short for The Aerial Assault Team.

Their existing partnership gave Valo a convenient ally to put in Kennedy’s path.

The match itself featured one particularly memorable sequence.

Jayyy attempted a flip dive from the mats onto Kennedy, who moved out of the way.

Jayyy landed on the floor instead.

Kennedy then followed with a clothesline that drove Jayyy onto his head on the wooden surface.

Not the most forgiving landing area.

Despite the earlier threats and accusations, neither Valo nor Goodwin interfered in the contest.

For once, everybody at ringside managed to behave themselves.

A Phone Call to the Commissioner

Next came Cassius, making what would turn out to be his final RWL appearance for more than a decade.

He’d previously faced Cyanide at Overdose while representing DCW, a promotion that had since become NCW.

This time, Cassius was appearing as an RWL wrestler.

And he was keen to prove himself.

He issued an open challenge to anybody willing to face him.

Valo appeared, walking down the ramp with a phone held to his ear.

“If you want an open challenge, you’ve got one.”

Apparently, Valo had just been speaking to the commissioner.

Whoever this mysterious commissioner was, they had supposedly decided that Cassius’ open challenge would now be contested for the brand new RWL Cruiserweight Championship.

The commissioner was a throwaway gag.

The championship wasn’t.

RWL had just introduced another title, and its first champion was about to be decided.

Valo called for somebody from the back to accept the challenge.

And out came KillSwitch.

Of course he did.

The 28 Stone Cruiserweight

Standing approximately 6’6” and weighing around 28 stone, KillSwitch wasn’t exactly the first person you’d expect to see challenging for a cruiserweight championship.

In fact, he wasn’t the sort of person you’d expect to see anywhere near a cruiserweight division.

But that was the joke.

And RWL was perfectly happy to run with it.

The match began backstage, with KillSwitch growling beneath a towel draped over his head.

Cassius, apparently deciding that conventional wrestling offence wasn’t going to be enough, opened with a wedgie.

Against a 28 stone monster.

It went about as well as you’d expect.

KillSwitch wasn’t amused.

Cassius attempted a shoulderblock, only to bounce straight off his much larger opponent, although he did manage to connect with a jumping clothesline.

For the most part, however, KillSwitch dominated.

Cassius had occasional bursts of offence, but nothing that looked particularly likely to stop him for long.

Towards the end of the contest, Cassius attempted a Twist of Fate, only for KillSwitch to shove him away and into the referee.

With the official down, another wrestler appeared.

Overkill.

Having already made his presence felt earlier in the afternoon, Overkill now distracted KillSwitch by gesturing that he wanted the championship for himself.

Cassius took advantage of the distraction, spraying hairspray into KillSwitch’s eyes before connecting with the Twist of Fate.

It was enough for a two-count.

But not three.

Cassius then attempted another clothesline.

And that was where his challenge came to an end.

After the match, there was no elaborate celebration or further storyline development. Valo simply announced the winner.

Overkill’s involvement, however, had been deliberate.

His appearance was intended to establish future issues between himself and KillSwitch over the newly introduced RWL Cruiserweight Championship.

The belt might have been created through a joke about a telephone call, but RWL already had plans for where it could go next.

Misery and Business

Looking back, Misery Business was one of those shows where quite a lot happened without necessarily feeling like a major event at the time.

The Valo and Cyanide worked-shoot storyline became more personal, with Cyanide’s on-screen suspension and Valo’s deliberately provocative closing remark.

Overkill continued to develop as a wrestler, benefiting from the training he’d been doing with Valo and the opportunities he was being given on camera.

His involvement with Spyke also marked the earliest beginnings of The Omen, a partnership that would become part of RWL’s future.

Meanwhile, the Chris System returned, Kennedy continued his issues with Valo, and RWL introduced a brand new Cruiserweight Championship.

A championship that immediately attracted the attention of a man weighing 28 stone.

Naturally.

There were also a few quieter historical details worth remembering.

This would be Cassius’ final appearance until 2018, while Overkill’s involvement in the closing match established another direction for his character.

And through it all, Valo was becoming increasingly established as both an on-screen authority figure and a wrestler whose personal problems were now part of the promotion’s storylines.

Some of it was deliberately ridiculous.

Some of it was considerably more personal.

But that mixture was becoming a defining part of RWL in the summer of 2007.

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A suspension, a phone call, a 28 stone cruiserweight and the beginning of The Omen. Not bad for a Monday.