Entertainmania II

One year.

It had been twelve months since RWL recorded its first Entertainmania, the event that effectively marked the beginning of the promotion’s recorded history.

Quite a lot had happened since then. The roster had grown, championships had come and gone, new characters had appeared, and RWL had begun developing relationships with other promotions across the UK backyard wrestling scene. Some of its wrestlers were even gaining experience with professional wrestling companies.

Not bad for a group of lads who’d started out wrestling on grass, cardboard and whatever else happened to be lying around.

But some things hadn’t changed.

RWL was still perfectly capable of gathering everybody together in a field in Blackburn, making up half the afternoon’s entertainment on the spot and somehow calling the result a wrestling show.

Entertainmania II was a perfect example.

It was also one of the most significant events in RWL’s early history, although perhaps not for the reasons you’d normally expect.

After weeks of Monday Night RaGE, increasingly personal confrontations and enough interference to last a lifetime, everything had been building towards one match.

Valo vs “Cyanide” Danny Cooper.

The rest of the card?

Well, we’d figure that out as we went along.

Happy Anniversary, RWL!

The show opened with an announcement acknowledging the first anniversary of the original RWL Entertainmania.

A lovely little milestone, and one that probably deserved a dignified celebration.

Instead, we got Watson’s Lounge.

Adam Watson made his way to the wrestling area and announced that, in honour of the anniversary, he would be introducing somebody new.

Someone from “Dubai, Ireland”.

Tom Obscene.

Fortunately, ring announcer Valo was on hand to correct him.

“From Dublin, Ireland, Tom Omega!”

Omega had actually made his RWL debut just six days earlier at RaGE 4, although apparently that hadn’t done much to help anybody remember his name.

Watson wondered why Irish people always seemed to get the piss taken out of them, prompting Omega to call him a “Scottish inbred bastard.”

And that was enough to bring out Ross, better known as KillSwitch.

Carrying a Scottish flag.

Drinking Irn-Bru.

Naturally.

Ross demanded to know what Omega was talking about before turning to Watson.

“Adam, kick this little shite’s arse.”

International relations were off to a promising start.

The confrontation became a match, although it wasn’t long before Spyke, RWL’s Assistant Manager, appeared and announced that it would now be contested under Two Out of Three Falls rules.

Why?

Apparently, because he could.

The wrestling was fairly scrappy, but it featured another appearance from Watson’s increasingly popular Axe Handle Smash, a move that had gradually become one of RWL’s most recognisable running jokes.

The action eventually spilled away from the tarp and around Turning Medieval, with the pair fighting behind the entrance area and into the nearby garages.

KillSwitch remained involved, naturally, his enthusiasm for defending Scottish honour eventually extending beyond simply waving a flag.

It was an appropriately ridiculous opening to an anniversary show.

And things weren’t about to get any more sensible.

The Cockney Japanese Connection

Next came the latest chapter in the ongoing rivalry between Teh Gr8 Schitzu and Teh Gr8 Phuka-U.

These two had spent the previous few shows threatening one another, wrestling inanimate objects and generally behaving like nobody had bothered to explain what professional wrestling was supposed to look like.

At RaGE 3, Schitzu had challenged Phuka-U to Entertainmania II. At RaGE 4, he’d threatened to kill him, before the pair somehow ended up holding hands and skipping backstage after teaming together to wrestle the entrance barriers.

Now, finally, they were going to face each other.

Phuka-U entered to loud cheers, although there had been another development in his increasingly questionable personal history.

He was now billed from “Cockneyville, Nigera, Japan”.

And he had an announcement to make.

He wasn’t Japanese anymore.

He was Cockney.

Of course he was.

Before the match could begin, the pair argued over which corners they were supposed to stand in.

Phuka-U then suggested that they wrestle the entrance barriers again.

Schitzu wasn’t interested.

“Fuck the barriers.”

He’d barely finished speaking before KillSwitch frightened him from ringside, causing Schitzu to take a particularly stiff back bump.

Not quite the intimidating start he’d probably imagined.

What followed was less a wrestling match and more an exercise in seeing how thoroughly two people could expose the mechanics of wrestling for their own amusement.

Rather than quietly communicating what they were going to do, Schitzu and Phuka-U simply announced everything out loud.

“Irish whip, duck the clothesline,” instructed Schitzu.

“You duck mine next,” replied Phuka-U.

Back and forth they went, repeatedly ducking each other’s clotheslines until Phuka-U told Schitzu to duck another one.

This time, he didn’t.

Schitzu ran straight into it.

A masterclass in wrestling psychology.

The routine continued through wristlocks, complaints about unexpected pain and, inevitably, Schitzu’s obsession with kicking people in the back.

This time, the move had acquired a name.

The Cockney Kicks.

Thirty-two of them, delivered to Phuka-U before Schitzu exhausted himself and collapsed.

A slight reduction from the sixty kicks he’d inflicted at RaGE 3, but impressive commitment to a thoroughly stupid idea nonetheless.

There were more encounters with the entrance barriers, plenty of deliberately ridiculous wrestling and an increasingly bizarre collection of dialogue.

At one point, Schitzu delivered what might be the finest line of the entire afternoon.

“Eww, it’s wet. It feels like you after a shower… I don’t get wet in the shower… I like punching rabbits in the face.”

Right.

Even by Schitzu’s standards, that was quite something.

It was ridiculous, deliberately terrible in places and probably went on longer than it needed to.

But that had become the appeal of these characters.

There was also something particularly strange about watching them perform such exaggerated comedy while knowing that the men behind the masks were Valo and Cyanide, who would be involved in something considerably more serious later that afternoon.

Their real-life circumstances had become intertwined with RWL’s biggest storyline, yet here they were, arguing about being Cockney and repeatedly kicking each other in the back.

Early RWL really did have something for everyone.

Whether everybody actually wanted it was another matter.

The Stuff That Didn’t Make the Cut

The original Entertainmania II recordings contained considerably more material than we’ve chosen to include in the reconstructed main show.

In keeping with RWL’s rather spontaneous approach to booking, several additional matches and segments were filmed throughout the afternoon, some of which did very little to improve the overall viewing experience.

One particularly unusual segment began with Cyanide addressing a real-life injury suffered by a member of the RWL crew while wrestling outside the promotion.

He introduced Mini Lyger, who appeared alongside Overkill and Spyke of The Omen. Overkill explained the situation and announced that he was placing a bounty on whoever had been responsible.

It was an unusually serious introduction for what followed.

Because out came Kuntanese.

Another comedy character, this time portrayed by Teddie H, wearing a wig that would apparently get quite a bit of use throughout the afternoon.

The resulting match with Spyke was an awkward attempt at comedy wrestling that went on considerably longer than it needed to.

Kuntanese would never appear again.

Probably for the best.

Elsewhere, Spyke also faced The Reaper, while Adam Watson wrestled Jelton Ohn, an Elton John-inspired character portrayed by Spyke in that very same wig.

Ohn was apparently billed from “Barcelona, Scandinavia”.

Geography really wasn’t our strongest subject in 2007.

Watson’s encounter did, however, feature one small milestone worth remembering.

It marked the first recorded use of the name Adam “The Axe” Watson.

After months of the Axe Handle Smash becoming an increasingly recognisable part of his character, Watson finally had a nickname to match. And, appropriately enough, another Axe Handle Smash secured the victory.

All of these segments were originally part of the full Entertainmania II recordings. However, for the reconstructed release, they’ve been retroactively moved to a separate pre-show, allowing the main event to flow a little more naturally without quite so many detours into disposable comedy.

They remain part of the event’s history.

They’re simply being presented a little differently.

And, in the case of Kuntanese, perhaps a little more mercifully.

Overkill Has Something to Prove

Back on the main show, Overkill had some unfinished business.

Accompanied by Spyke, he announced that he’d originally been scheduled to face “The Next Level” Ciaran Kennedy.

Unfortunately, Kennedy hadn’t turned up.

Overkill’s explanation was that Kennedy was a little bitch.

This at least provided some context for his unexplained warning at the end of RaGE 4, when he’d attacked Jayyy and declared that the assault was a message for Kennedy.

With his intended opponent absent, Overkill issued an Open Challenge.

Out came Hyogo Kantai.

Yes, Hyogo Kantai.

The same character Valo had supposedly sent to destroy Cyanide six days earlier.

Except this version looked a little different.

Because today, Hyogo was being portrayed by Cyanide.

Keeping track of RWL’s masked identities was becoming something of a full-time job.

Overkill wasn’t particularly impressed, reminding everybody that he’d already faced Hyogo at Condoms & Cigarette Packets and boasting about how easily he’d beaten him.

The resulting encounter was about as competitive as that introduction suggested.

But Overkill’s afternoon wasn’t over.

The entranceway opened again, revealing Teddie H, this time carrying a crutch and apparently nursing a knee injury.

He wasn’t particularly impressed with Overkill’s attitude.

“You’re calling him a pussy? I bet even with a fucked up knee I’ll fuck your ass up.”

He threw the crutch away and went after him.

Teddie put up considerably more resistance, but Overkill continued looking impressive, further establishing himself as one of the more dangerous members of RWL’s newer roster.

And then came another familiar face.

KillSwitch.

The reigning RWL Cruiserweight Champion charged down and sent Overkill retreating.

The problems between the two, which had been developing since Misery Business, were clearly far from finished.

Unlike some of the rather disposable encounters elsewhere on the card, this was a storyline that actually seemed to be going somewhere.

Heavyweight Wrestling, Cruiserweight Rules

For one of the afternoon’s more serious encounters, Entertainmania II brought together two of the biggest men on the RWL roster.

Project SEX, representing The Chris System, was back to receiving boos from the audience.

His opponent was the popular KillSwitch.

And, for reasons nobody apparently felt the need to question, they were fighting over the RWL Cruiserweight Championship.

Yes.

A Cruiserweight Championship match between two of the largest wrestlers in the promotion.

RWL’s interpretation of weight divisions had always been somewhat flexible.

The match itself was a welcome change of pace.

Rather than relying on elaborate gimmicks or endless jokes, the two simply went at each other with heavy strikes and power moves.

Project SEX put up a particularly strong fight, refusing to be overwhelmed by the champion and demonstrating that he could hold his own in a competitive match.

There was also one particularly notable moment.

KillSwitch became the first wrestler to successfully Scoop Slam Project SEX.

Given Project’s considerable size, that was no small achievement.

KillSwitch eventually retained his championship, but he wasn’t given much opportunity to celebrate.

Because, naturally, Overkill had decided he wasn’t finished causing trouble.

Armed with a crutch, he attacked the champion before turning his attention towards Project SEX.

He even helped Project back to his feet.

A surprisingly sporting gesture.

Until he attacked him with the crutch as well.

Overkill then made his intentions perfectly clear.

He wanted the RWL Cruiserweight Championship.

And when KillSwitch began sitting up, Overkill immediately attacked him again, leaving both men down on the tarp.

It was a significant escalation in their developing rivalry.

After months of establishing himself alongside Valo and Spyke in The Omen, Overkill now had a clear objective of his own.

And he wasn’t particularly concerned about who he had to go through to achieve it.

Two New Teams

Elsewhere on the card, Entertainmania II marked the beginning of two tag team partnerships.

The first was Switchblade Corp, the combination of KillSwitch and Teddie H.

Their entrance was certainly memorable.

KillSwitch arrived pushing Teddie towards the wrestling area in a trolley.

Why?

Nobody knows.

Sometimes RWL entrances had an elaborate storyline justification.

Sometimes somebody found a trolley.

Their opponents were Jayyy and Shawn O’ Mercy, the latter still holding the RWL Hardcore Championship.

Although they weren’t using the name yet, this was the first time the team that would eventually become The YOBz had wrestled together.

It also created an interesting contrast between the two sides.

Jayyy and Mercy were already established members of the RWL roster, while KillSwitch and Teddie represented newer additions who were beginning to develop their own identities.

And, thankfully, the match itself was actually good.

Both teams demonstrated some enjoyable double-team work, with the occasional weapon making an appearance, including a baking tray and the crutch that had apparently become one of the show’s most frequently used props.

There wasn’t a championship at stake, nor any particularly significant rivalry between the teams.

It was simply an opportunity for four wrestlers to put on a decent match.

And for the most part, they did.

Unfortunately, Overkill couldn’t resist getting involved again.

Having already attacked KillSwitch earlier in the afternoon, he interfered in the closing stages, disrupting Switchblade Corp and ensuring that their debut didn’t go quite to plan.

By now, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Overkill had developed something of an obsession with KillSwitch.

The Cruiserweight Championship was firmly in his sights.

As for the match itself, it was a welcome reminder that, underneath all the comedy and spontaneous nonsense, RWL’s roster was gradually developing the ability to put together some genuinely enjoyable wrestling.

That was going to become increasingly important over the following year.

But there was still one final match to come.

And it was the reason this show existed in the first place.

Valo vs Cyanide

The main event was introduced with a video package recapping the rivalry between Valo and “Cyanide” Danny Cooper.

After months of confrontations, interference, personal insults and an increasingly hostile relationship, the two were finally going to settle things.

The genuine personal circumstances behind their rivalry had first begun influencing RWL at Inhuman Creation Station, before becoming central to the promotion’s storytelling throughout the summer.

By the time Entertainmania II arrived, the situation had grown considerably beyond a straightforward wrestling feud.

This was personal.

And the audience knew it.

Cyanide entered first, although his opening promo was interrupted by an unexplained cut in the recording.

For reasons now lost to history, the entrance was apparently filmed again.

Because even RWL’s biggest storyline wasn’t immune to the occasional retake.

Once the cameras were rolling properly, Cyanide had a few things to get off his chest.

He addressed Valo by his real name.

“Corey Carver… fuck calling you Valo.”

It was a deliberate choice, refusing to acknowledge the wrestling persona and instead speaking directly to the person behind it.

Cyanide mocked Valo for missing RaGE 4, accused him of being too lazy to attend and reminded everybody that sending Hyogo Kantai to destroy him hadn’t worked.

He also warned Valo against following through on his threat to punish Hyogo for failing.

Cyanide was ready.

And he wanted Valo to know it.

The NAW Cruiserweight Champion eventually arrived, accompanied by Spyke.

The audience were firmly against him.

After weeks of Valo using his authority within RWL to make Cyanide’s life miserable, there was little sympathy left for him among the people watching.

The RWL World Championship was presented.

And finally, the Deathmatch began.

No More Running

The opening exchange immediately established the atmosphere.

Cyanide slapped Valo hard across the face.

Valo shoved him back.

The pair traded punches, and when they briefly separated, Cyanide took the opportunity to mock the bright red mark he’d left on Valo’s cheek.

It wasn’t going to be a friendly wrestling match.

And it wasn’t supposed to be.

What followed was a long, increasingly violent encounter that made extensive use of Turning Medieval’s surroundings.

The action spilled away from the blue tarp, through the entrance area and around the large boulder that had become such a recognisable part of RWL’s backyard setup.

The makeshift entrance door became involved, as did the surrounding gravel and concrete.

Both men were eventually bleeding.

And Valo seemed considerably more interested in inflicting punishment than actually winning.

He repeatedly connected with major moves, including several piledrivers, but frequently neglected to attempt a pinfall.

There was an obvious parallel with Hyogo Kantai’s approach at RaGE 4, when Valo’s supposed former student had concentrated on hurting Cyanide rather than putting him away.

This time, Valo was delivering the punishment himself.

The match also featured several moments that, looking back, were genuinely dangerous.

Broken glass was introduced, with Valo bringing shattered beer bottles into the wrestling area before Cyanide reversed an attempted DDT and drove him into them.

At another point, an aerosol spray and lighter were used to produce a burst of flame against Cyanide’s back.

Both men also took some particularly heavy bumps on and around the boulder, including onto the hard ground surrounding the wrestling area.

At the time, the focus was on creating something memorable and making the contest feel like a genuine Deathmatch.

Looking back, some of those decisions were considerably more dangerous than they needed to be.

But there was no question that both men were committed to delivering something worthy of the rivalry.

And the audience responded accordingly.

As the punishment continued, Valo’s forehead had been cut open, and Cyanide was bleeding too.

The two kept fighting, with Valo repeatedly choosing to inflict more damage rather than simply attempt to finish the match.

Even after delivering CorZonE, his finishing move named after his previous wrestling identity, Valo couldn’t keep Cyanide down.

The crowd were firmly behind Cyanide, willing him to survive everything Valo was throwing at him.

And then came another familiar sight.

Valo removed his shirt to reveal the words “DIE CYANIDE” written across his chest.

It was the same message he’d displayed during his post-match attack at RaGE 3.

Now, in the middle of their long-awaited Deathmatch, it served as another reminder of how personal the rivalry had become.

But Cyanide refused to stay down.

He survived an extraordinary amount of punishment, including an Avalanche Michinoku Driver from the boulder, and continued fighting back with everything he had left.

Eventually, he managed to catch Valo with Crystal Clear.

The audience thought it might finally be over.

Valo kicked out at the very last moment.

The match continued.

And then Cyanide found one final opportunity.

With KillSwitch kneeling on top of the Turning Medieval boulder as part of the setup, Cyanide climbed into position and launched himself down towards Valo.

The Syringe Elbow Drop.

One.

Two.

Three.

“Cyanide” Danny Cooper was the new RWL World Champion.

After months of Valo using his position, his faction and every opportunity available to him to make Cyanide’s life miserable, Cyanide had finally beaten him on RWL’s biggest show of the year.

The audience celebrated with the new champion.

Valo, meanwhile, was helped away by Spyke.

It was the conclusion to a storyline that had dominated RWL throughout the summer, and unquestionably the biggest moment of Entertainmania II.

But there was one final piece of footage that made the occasion particularly memorable.

When the Cameras Kept Rolling

The main show ended with Cyanide celebrating his championship victory.

However, the surviving recordings also contain some post-show bonus footage, offering a glimpse of what happened once the performance was over.

Adam Watson and Teddie H were checking on Valo, with Watson attempting to clean up the cut on his forehead.

Teddie, apparently rather concerned, asked whether he needed an ambulance.

Valo’s response was fairly straightforward.

“No, all good.”

He then casually explained that he’d performed two bladejobs during the match.

After everything that had happened during the Deathmatch, the sight of the group checking on one another provided a rather different atmosphere from what had just been presented to the audience.

But the most important moment was still to come.

Valo and Cyanide embraced.

And around them, the rest of the group began chanting:

“RWL! RWL! RWL!”

It was a genuinely lovely moment to have preserved.

The personal circumstances behind the rivalry had been difficult, and the wrestling storyline had deliberately blurred the distinction between the performers and the people behind the characters.

The embrace didn’t magically undo any of that.

But it did show two people sharing a moment after putting everything they had into the biggest match of their promotion’s first year.

Surrounded by their friends, with everybody chanting the name of the thing they’d built together, it captured something that no carefully edited wrestling music video really could.

More Than One Match?

Looking back, Entertainmania II occupies a rather unusual place in RWL’s history.

On one hand, it was a standout event.

The main event delivered something genuinely significant, culminating in months of storytelling and providing one of the clearest examples yet of RWL building a major show around a long-running rivalry.

On the other hand, there’s no getting away from the fact that Entertainmania II was, in many ways, a one-match card.

The undercard was rough.

There was far too much comedy, several matches that appeared to have been thrown together simply because somebody fancied wrestling, and very little consequence to some of what happened.

Some of it worked.

Some of it really didn’t.

Moving some of the more disposable material to a separately presented pre-show certainly helps the reconstructed event flow a little better, but it doesn’t change how the original afternoon unfolded.

There were worthwhile moments elsewhere, of course. KillSwitch and Project SEX provided a welcome change of pace, while the issues between KillSwitch and Overkill developed into something that could carry forward beyond the event.

The first appearances of Switchblade Corp and the future YOBz were also noteworthy, particularly because the tag match demonstrated the progress being made by some of RWL’s newer wrestlers.

But even that match had no particular stakes beyond everybody wanting to wrestle.

And that was really the story of much of the afternoon.

Entertainmania II wasn’t a carefully constructed event from beginning to end.

It was a group of people having fun doing something they loved.

Matches were rearranged, challenges were issued, characters appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and wrestlers found themselves competing more than once because somebody had decided it would be a good idea.

There was plenty of enthusiasm.

Not always much planning.

And, if we’re being fair, not always much quality control either.

But that was RWL in September 2007.

By the same time the following year, things would look considerably different.

RWL would become more organised, with greater attention paid to putting together complete cards, developing its roster and producing events that felt more consistent from beginning to end.

The days of simply turning up at Turning Medieval and seeing how many matches everybody fancied wrestling weren’t quite over, but the promotion was moving towards something more structured.

Entertainmania II therefore sits at an interesting point in that development.

The undercard still feels very much like early RWL, full of spontaneous comedy, questionable ideas and whatever seemed entertaining at the time.

But the main event demonstrates something else entirely.

An ambition to tell a bigger story, build a rivalry over several months and give the audience a meaningful payoff at the promotion’s biggest event.

There’s another reason Entertainmania II remains special when looking back through RWL’s history.

It was the first of multiple consecutive Entertainmania events to be headlined by Valo and Cyanide.

What had begun as a deeply personal storyline in the summer of 2007 would go on to become a recurring part of RWL’s biggest annual event.

At the time, of course, there was no way of knowing quite how significant that would become.

We were simply trying to put on a wrestling show.

A rather disorganised one, admittedly.

But underneath the questionable comedy, the hastily arranged matches and the occasionally terrible decisions, there was a genuine love for what we were doing.

That’s what makes Entertainmania II worth remembering.

Not because every match was good, or because the event was particularly well organised.

It’s because, for one afternoon in a field in Blackburn, RWL managed to produce a main event that felt bigger than the circumstances in which it was being filmed.

It brought one of the promotion’s most important early rivalries to a conclusion, crowned a new World Champion and gave the audience a moment worth celebrating.

And when the wrestling was finished, the cameras captured something arguably even more meaningful.

Two friends embracing.

The rest of the group gathered around them.

And everybody chanting the name of the promotion they’d spent the previous year building together.

For all its faults, that was Entertainmania II.

And that’s why it still matters.

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One year of RWL. A questionable undercard, more comedy than anybody really needed, and one main event that made the whole afternoon worthwhile. Entertainmania II wasn’t a great show from start to finish. But it was a great moment in RWL’s history.